The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
