Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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