so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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