She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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