she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
