i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
