we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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