He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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