It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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