New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
