i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
