Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was like eating out sand paper
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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