White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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