I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
