I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
