i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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