i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
