Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
