batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
