I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
