nut hugger
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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