I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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