honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize