You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
