there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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