Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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