i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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