I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
