Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize