..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
