Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
