Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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