O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
