when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize