Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
