So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
