shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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