Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
