But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
