not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
