if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize