I didn't shave. On purpose
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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