I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
