Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
