Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ladies don't puke and tell
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
