real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
