I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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