I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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