I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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