You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
