Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
