Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
