My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
