what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
