After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
