oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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