Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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