I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize