After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
